


Kaus Australis

by evanoracronwell



Series: Stars will guide you home [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Constellations, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Michael Guerin Needs a Hug, Stargazing, angst malex, michael guerin misses alex manes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanoracronwell/pseuds/evanoracronwell
Summary: Michael Guerin doesn't know how to deal with the absence of Alex Manes in his life.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Stars will guide you home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159256
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Kaus Australis

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's me again!!! So I hope you guys enjoy this as much I enjoy writing (I mean, seriously, who doesn't love a drama??!!)
> 
> As always, I'm very sorry for any grammar mistakes I made, I don't have a beta and English is not my native language, so please be kind and let me know about my mistakes.
> 
> Kudos and comments always make a writer happy!!!

* * *

  
**2009**

Michael was ... content.

It had been a long time since a real smile appeared on his lips. But finally, today he had a sincere smile and a feeling of happiness.

Finally, he managed to buy his long-awaited Airstream and after all the necessary renovations, it was official. Michael Guerin had a home!

With a sigh of contentment, he took a sip of beer and then played with the bottle between his fingers, right in front of the Airstream he had placed some old chairs he bought in the old Junkyard, and with a barrel cut in half, he had a bonfire to help keep him warm on the cold desert nights.

Alex used to do this ... keep him warm ...

Don't.

Michael shouted in his head. Don't go there, Guerin.

Just don't.  
Because if he does, if he allows himself to think about Alex, then that suffocating pain will come to the surface and Michael doesn’t know how to deal with it, he doesn’t know how to deal with the emptiness he feels inside his own chest, he doesn't know how to deal with the shortness of breath that sometimes makes him dizzy, he doesn't know how to deal with the urge to scream and cry every time he passes in front of the museum.

Michael Guerin doesn't know how to deal with the absence of Alex Manes in his life.

It hurts, physically and emotionally.

A pain like no other he had ever felt in his life, and that coming from a boy who had gone through sessions of exorcisms and a hand smashed by a hammer.

So no, he wouldn't think about Alex Manes, not tonight. He would just sit there in his chair, enjoying a good beer, snuggling up in the plushy jacket he had gotten at Goodwill, and warming up by the fire. Yes, that was exactly what he would do.

Michael looked up at the sky for a few seconds and smiled as soon as his eyes found his constellation.

_"Sagittarius is the fifteenth largest constellation in the sky, and it is quite easy to find because it is in the Milky Way and its brightest stars form an asterism known as the Teapot."_

_Michael looked up a little scared and stared at Alex who was lying on his chest, it was past midnight and they should have left hours ago, but instead, they were here, lying naked in each other's arms on the makeshift bed in the back of the truck, wrapped in blankets to protect them from the cold desert. In silence, just enjoying each other's presence when Alex murmured those facts about stars and constellations._

_"Since when do you understand about this?"_

_"What ?! You are always so fascinated by everything related to space and I love to hear you talk about it. So I thought about giving it a try."_

_"And you choose to learn about the constellation of my zodiac sign?" he asked and smiled when Alex just shrugged his shoulders against his body._

_"Okay, then, tell me more about the Sagittarius constellation."_

"Fuck"

He growls as he takes another sip of beer, avoiding thinking about Alex is useless and he doesn't know why he still insists on deceiving himself that he is capable of it. That damn man had filled Michael's life with hope and a feeling so good and warm that for the first time he had dared to think that he could really be happy, even build a family for himself someday.

Then all hell broke loose.

First Jesse, then Rosa.

The guilt was consuming him every day, every time he saw the Crashdown, every time he heard someone talking about the drugged and troubled Mexican girl who killed two poor innocent girls, every time he saw the pain of losing a great friend in Alex's eyes.

Then he pushed Alex away, pushed him away when all he wanted to do was pull him close. Wrap Alex in his arms with all the strength he possessed and never let go.

Michael knows that it is only his fault, that Alex's leaving is his responsibility.  
But fuck, if he could, if Michael could just go back in time. He would never have let Alex go, he would have kissed him with all the love in the world, he would have touched him on every piece of skin on his body and he would have said that he loved him, a thousand times, a million times.  
He would have left Roswell with Alex, far away, where no one could find them. They would build a life, a family.

And screw Jesse Manes. Isobel. Max.

And all the rest of this fucked up world.

_"... in Greek mythology, Sagittarius represents a centaur ..."_

Alex, who helped him without expecting anything in return.

Alex, who showed him that there could be kindness in the world.

Alex, who carried his heart on his sleeve and had the most beautiful smile Michael had ever seen in his life.

Alex, who taught Michael what true love is.

_"... the centaur is depicted holding a bow and arrow ..."_

_Alex murmured smiling sensuously as he wrapped his leg around Michael's waist, getting an impulse to sit on his lap, his ass dangerously close to Michael's cock that immediately went hard._

_"The centaur appears to be aiming an arrow towards the heart of the neighboring constellation of Scorpio"_

_He continued, the same smile on his lips knowing exactly the effect he was having on Michael. Supporting one hand on Michael's chest, exactly where his heart rested, Alex slid the other behind his back until he reached Michael's cock, touching it slowly making Michael moan and hold Alex's waist._

_"... in Sumerian mythology, he is associated with Crotus, the satyr who was the nurse of the nine muses, daughters of Zeus, on Mount Helicon."_

_Alex lifted his body high enough to place the head of Michael's cock against his hole and went down just an inch on it, still wet and stretched from all the previous activity. They moaned without worrying about anyone hearing them in the middle of the desert and Michael sank his fingers against Alex's hips so hard that he didn't doubt that it would bruise. Alex rested his other hand against Michael's chest as well and stared at him as he lowered his body so slowly that it felt like torture - delicious torture - for both of them. When he reached the base, feeling the fullness of having Michael completely inside him, he rolled his hips gently, just enough to cause a loud groan in Michael that held him even tighter and pulled him closer against his dick. As if he was never deep enough._

_And fuck, Alex agreed with him. It never seemed to be deep enough._

_"The constellation has thirty-two stars ..." he murmured again as he started to move, slowly, smoothly._

_"Alex ... fuck ..."_

_Lifting his own hips, trying to speed up the movements, Michael moaned as he tried to keep his eyes open so that he could look at Alex, refusing to lose the dazzling sight that boy was. Completely naked, with a line of sweat running down his neck until reach his navel even in the cold desert wind, his messy hair, his eyeliner a little smudged, his lips red and swollen from the kisses, and the way he was biting them right now. The movement in his waist as he rolled, using Michael's body, Michael's cock for his own pleasure._

_Damn, if that wasn't the most beautiful sight in the entire universe, Michael didn't know what it was._

_"Babe, please ..." he pleaded._

_"The brightest star in Sagittarius is Kaus Australis ..."_

_He kept muttering with his voice cracking, and Michael couldn't understand how that could be so fucking sexy, but damn if it wasn't. Feeling Alex sunk in his cock taking him so deeply as he murmured about stars and constellations was by far the most sensual thing Michael had ever had in his life. And when he started to move faster and faster until he reached the rhythm where it was possible to hear the sound of his ass hitting Michael's thighs, they moaned wildly and Michael lifted his back until he sat down, his chest pressed against Alex's chest, his hands hugging his boyfriend's waist while Alex grabbed him by the shoulder, his other hand curling up in Michael's curls, pulling the hair on the back of his neck._

_"... which is also the thirty-sixth brightest star in the sky ..."_

_He whispered against Michael's lips and it was the breaking point for both of them, their bodies convulsed and found the release they were looking for ..._

"Stop ... just ... stop!"

Michael pleaded to himself tossing the bear far away angrily, then he propped his elbows against his knees, sinking his head between his hands. Those memories were the most precious things Michael had in his life, but they were also the most painful. Memories of a life he no longer had. Memories of a happiness which he was no longer allowed.

Of a body that he could no longer touch.

Of a mouth that he couldn't kiss anymore.

"Come back ... Lex ... please ..."

Sobbing, he pleaded, please, to any God who might exist, for Alex to return, to forgive him, to love him.

_"... you are my brightest star, Michael."_

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me on my tumblr [evanoracronwell](https://evanoracronwell.tumblr.com/)


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